BOU HOLO BOSS

Bhai sodyo bibahito mohashoy,

Apnar shodyo bibaho hoyechhe, tai koyekti kotha bolchhi, mathay rakhben:-

1. Hindu shomajer manush aapni, kajei divorce shohoje hobe na, she-rehai nei, otoyeb ekhono onek, onek bochhor dhore bou aapnar pashe pashei thakbe.

2. Ekhon aapnar boyosh kom, kolijay shokti byapok, apatoto bou-ke ghantiye aapni hoyto paar peye jete paren. Pashe aapnar bohu bondhu bandhob atmiyo shojon, hoyto prochur shomorthon-o paben. Kintu joto boyesh barbe, dekhben ek ek kore shomorthok brindo kothay jeno hariye gechhe, tokhon kintu aapnar bou aapnake ekla peye juba boyosher mastanir badla nebe, aapni kichhui korte parben na. Mone rakhben, purush der shokti beshi, kintu mohilader stamina beshi.

3. 2 nombor tothyoti mathay rekhe duti Ingriji shobdo shikhe nin, "You win". Jokhon-i dekhben bou-er shonge bitorke joriye porechhen, joto taratari shombhob ei duti shobdo proyog korben. Tobei shangsharik shukh upobhog korte parben.

4. Bou ja ja baron korbe, shonge shonge mene neben. (Tarpor ja khushi korben, kintu khobordar, bou-rani jeno ter na paay.) Buk phuliye hero Hrittik Roshan-ke hote din, aapni aapnar moto thakun.

5. Shongshare shukh pete gele nirbikar bhabe mithye kotha bolar 'art' ti ropto korte hobe. Bhebe dekhben, Judhisthir ki shongshare shukhi chhilen?

6. Mohakobi Ogden Nash-er ei upodesh-ti roj shokale tinbar aoraben:

"When you're wrong, admit it;
When you're right, forget it."

7. Jodi kono din bari phire dekhen, bou-er mukh bhaar, khobordar, bhuleo jiggesh korben na, "Ogo, ki hoyechhe?" Taholei kintu jhor boibe. Otoyeb, chup chap jama kapor chhere shangsharik kaje lege porben.

8. Bou-ke khushi korbar jonyo upor-wala duti jinisher srishti korechhen, ekti shosta, ekti kinchit dami. Prothomti holo phuchka, jhor-er ingit pelei bou-ke phuchka khaowate niye jaben. Jhor jodi Kal-Boishakhir rup dharon kore, tahole phuchkay hobe na, tokhon niye jaben Chinese khaowate.

9. "Aamar bou aamake chinte parlo na" bole jara dukkho kore, tara pagol. Aapnar kokhono erokom mone holei aapni muchki heshe bhabben, "Bhaggish pare na". Amader bou-ra jodi shothik bhabe amader chinto, tobe kobei na chhaal chamra gutiye niye Lumpen United-er flag baniye monument-e tangiye dito.

10. Shob theke important kotha - Football mather khela, mathei thaka bhalo, barite anben na. Off-side rule-ta referee-linesman-rao bojhe na, otoyeb bou-ke bojhanor kono proyojon nei.

Aaj ei porjontoi, kaal abaar dekha hobe, ei sthane, ei shomoye.

Oti Prem-e Tanti Noshto - The Zidane Affair

Zinedine Zidane keno orokom korlo tai niye apatoto Norok gulzar! Ashol khobor eimatro pelum. Zidane aar Materazzi-r boddo prem, tai niye eto gondogol. On site microphone (jaar speaker-ta ekmatro Noroker ek kone chhilo) theke shona gechhe ashole ki hoyechhilo. Ei kothopokothon theke ashol byaparta sposhto bojha jachhe:

(Oder kotha hoyechhilo Franco-Roman bhashay, www dot langtolangto dot com theke bhashantor kora hoyechhe)

MM: Bhai Zidou, ore, tor taak ta je gham-e chok chok korchhe!
ZZ: Tai naki re Matou? Ish! Shesh khelay e ki birombona!
MM: Hyan! Moteo bhalo dekhachhe na, aay muchhe di!

(MM ZZ-ke joriye dhorlo, amra shobai TV-te dekhlum, tor por dujon dujoner theke shor-e gelo.)

MM: Aare, aare, Zidu, shore geli keno, mochhai to holo na.
ZZ. Ekhono chok chok korchhe? Ki hobe?
MM: Aay, shona, kachhe aay, haat diye muchhe di.
ZZ: Dhush, Matu! Tor haat-tao to dekhi gham-e job job korchhe!
MM: Tai to! Tahole tui aay, tor taak-ta amar jersey-te muchhe ne!
ZZ: Aare, tor jersey to bhije toitumbur.
MM: Na, na, buk-er kachhta shukno aachhe, buk-e amar eto lom, shob gham lom-e shushe niyechhe, jersey-ta shukno aachhe.
ZZ: Bolchhish? Thik aachhe.

(ZZ tokhon taak-ta MM-er buk-e ghoshe nilo, tuk kore. Kintu taak-er majhe majhe shokto shokto kota chul aalpin-er moto MM-er komol lomosh buk-e phute gelo, MM jontronay katrate katrate matite lutiye porlo. Poroborti kothopokothon Referee ebong Linesman-er modhye:)

Ref: Ki byapar, Materazzi-ta orokom bolir panthar moto katrachhe keno, kichhu dekhechhen?
LM: Aare chhi, chhi, Zidane-ta ki oshobhyo, maather majhkhane Materazzi-r buk-e matha ghosh-e dilo! Bechara Materazzi bodhoy lojjay kator hoye porechhe.
Ref: Tai naki? Shala! Adult cinema baniye debe khelata-ke! Chhi chhi chhi, ki oshobhyo! Eto loker shamne ei shob ki bichchhiri kando! Dressing Room-e giye to joto khushi ador korte parto!

(Red card)