SHURJO MAMA

roj shokale shurjo jokhon purbo dike oThen
gaRu haate ojosro lok maTher paane chhoTen;
abar jokhon shondhye belaay shurjo mama Doben,
tarai chhoTen loTa haate, ebar bodhoy dhoben!

BHOL PALTANOR GOPPO

praay shuni, omuker naki bhol palTe gechhe. kintu kothaTar Thik ki maane, kotha thekei ba elo, kichhui jani na. phole, shedin shidhe chole gelum dhur babar ashrome, giye bhalo kore pronam Tonam shere niye babake jiggesh korlum, "baba, bhol paltanor goRar kothaTa janen naki?"

baba bollen, "jani, bhuli nai."

ami bollum, "bolun tahole, jene niy byaparTa."

baba smito hashi heshe shuru korlen,

"onek bochhor aage paToliputrer kachhe 'gechhe' bole ekTi shohor chhilo, aaj hindi-te taar naam hoyechhe 'gaya'. tar theke onek, onek dur-e aar ekTi shohor chhilo, jaar naam 'bohut gaya'. sheikhane chhilo bouddho-der astana. taader raja-r naam chhilo moshlai lama. tini shokal bikel Dhol bajaten aar nokuR dana kheten. projara Dholer taale taale ek shonge matha uNchu-nichu korto, aajkaal oi rokom korle tai bola hoy 'Dhola'."

"emni bhabe shukhei din kaTchhilo, ekdin hoThat ekjon bangali eshe rajar kachhe duTo lomba lomba tobla gochher jinish upohar diye chole gelo. bangla theke amdani, tai lama raja o-duTor naam rakhlen 'bongo', rekhe Tuk Tuk kore kobar Thuke niye bejaay moja pelen. shonge shonge tini Dhol-ta chhNuRe phele diye mogno hoye bongo bajate laglen. achomka projader tondra bhenge gelo, Dhola bondho holo, shobai bolte laglo, 'raja Dhol palTe phelechhen'."

ei obdhi bole dhur baba thamlen. aami to obaak! "sheki baba, e to Dhol palTanor golpo, aami jante cheyechhilum bhol palTanor kotha!"

baba bollen, "o-o-o-o-o-o! tui bhol bolechhili? aami shunlum Dhol. boyesh hoyechhe to, kaane Thik shunte pai ne!" bole dhur baba bhul kore ghumiye poRlen.

pashei shunlum kara jeno bolchhe, "bhole baba paar karega."

COACH CHAI, COACH

mohun bagan-er COACH niye koch-kochani kichhudin bondho aache dekhchhi. shobai ekhon nikhil nondi-r kotha bhule nondigram niye matamati korchhe, maramario korchhe. tobu aami holum giye purono paapi, tai shedin Tuk kore chole gelum dhur baba-r ashrom-e, onek din por.

ashrome giye dekhi dhur baba tenar chela chamunDo niye boshe aachhen. ek gol-gal byakti dekhi bhorpur gul marchhen, aar baba moshgul hoye tai shune jachhen. ami choT kore baba ke bollum, "baba, mohun bagan-er COACH niye kichhu bhabchhen?"

baba bollen, "keno, ki hoyechhe? bhaloi to cholchhe. robson COACH hoyechhe, COACH hoye MASSAGE dichchhe, chhelera dibyi harchhe, keu khelowaRder dosh dekhchhe na, kormokarta der gali dichhe na, shudhu COACH-er MASSAGE ke munDupaat kore ghono ghono MESSAGE paThachhe."

ami bollum, "dhur baba, ekhon to MESSAGE-er joog, taa MASSAGE niye MESSAGE paThachhe, mondo ki? kintu ei COACH diye aar cholbe na, shiggiri ekTa jobordost COACH ante hobe."

baba bollen, "dhur! aar aachhe-Ta ke? bhowmik to shunlum RESIGNATION LETTER pokeTe-e niye ghur ghur ghurchhe, kintu taake era nebe na. ashole shantiniketan-e ajana babur baRir pashei bhowmik-er baRi, shekhaane shunechhi pNachil niye bibaad aachhe."

ami bollum, "tahole chaTuni-ke anle kemon hoy?"

baba bollen, "dhur! cochin theke COACH anlei ki aar COACHING hoy? kochupoRa hobe. CLUB-er ku-chokre poRe jekono COACH kochu-kaTa hoye jaabe. borong e byaTa bharotiyo bhasha bojhe na, tai ku-chokro Ter pachhe na, bhaloi to!"

hothat shei gol-gal byaktiTi bole uThlen, "dhur baba! ki je apnara tokhon theke kebol COACH COACH korchhen, amaar mulyobaan tothyo guli shunchheni na!"

baba tenar dike shanto bhabe takiye bollen, "shon, aaj COACH-aguri purnima, amader birokto korish ni." bole RED CARD dekhiye tenake shekhan theke bohishkar kore dilen. tinio goj goj korte korte lumpender tel marte chole gelen.

ami bollum, "jaak baba, bNacha gelo! achchha, barreTo-ke COACH baniye dile kemon hoy? temon khelte parchhe na jokhon, tokhon COACH hok na. boyosh kom, shotej shobuj buddhi, notun notun IDEA..."

baba amake thamiye diye bollen, "tui bolchhish kochi COACH elei bhalo hobe? taa, mondo bolishni, kintu aaro bhalo hobe jodi DD ke coach kora jaay."

ami to aNtke uThlum, "bolchhen ki baba, debashish datta COACH hobe? tahole to hoyei gelo, SIXTEEN BANANAS COMPLETE."

baba mridu heshe bollen, "dhur! ei DD shei DD noy re, eje tor-amar shokoler DD. eshei prothome khelowaRder ponero din anoshon korabe, protyekTa khelowaR-er bhNuRi kome jaabe, tar por laga-taar michhil, hNeTe hNeTe shobar FITNESS beRe jaabe, dom baRbe. tarpor IFA OFFICE-e byapok gonDogol, cheyar-Tebil bhang-chur, gol gobindo ke niye lopha-luphi, oooof! ki moja! tarpor east bangal maThe jabar rasta keTe deowa hobe, myammaDan-er BUS jwaliye deowa hobe, oof, ki uttejona! de ekta biRi de!"

ami DhNok gilte gilte min min kore bollum, "kintu nijeder khelar ki hobe?"

baba bollen, "keno? durdhorsho khela hobe. teen-teen-teen FORMATION-e khela hobe, ekjon khali thakbe. rokkhon-ke gono-oborodh shekhano hobe, kono DuDu muDu ranTy fanTy Dhuktei parbe na, gol deowa to durer kotha. majhmaTher khelowaRera tinTe kore PASS khelbe - tribhuj-er moto, birodhira bhyaba-chyaka kheye jaabe. aar FORWARD-ra tri-phola-r moto net chhNiRbe. je FREE thakbe she kebol REFEREE-ke MANAGE korbe. aar COACH maTher baire theke kromagoto teekhno golay chitkaar kore jaabe, OPPONENT TEAM-er PLAYER-ra kaan Dhakte byasto thakbe, khelar dike mon dite parbe na."

ei obdhi shunei aami muchho gelum, aar ki ki hoyechhilo, jana nei.

ABAR VALENTINE

choturdike dekhchhi kebol
bhuter mukhe ram-er ain,
mukh bNekiye, naak ghuriye
bolchhe kemon ‘VALENTINE’.

chhokra buRo, shobai kemon
dhorchhe chhNurRi, dhorchhe Dyne,
alto kore khamche diye
bolchhe shudhu ‘VALENTINE’.

paRar theke boudi tule
LAKE-er dhare marchhe LINE,
khochor eshe dhorle kemon
bolchhe heshe, ‘VALENTINE’.

keshTo radha bhojon bhule
korche kebol SIXTY NINE,
nyaRara shob bolchhe tobu
sheTao naki ‘VALENTINE’!

taito shuni shib shenara
jwaliye debe ‘VALENTINE’,
ashchhe bochhor colaba-te
korbe chalu ‘BAL’ENTINE!

SHARTHOK JONOMO AMAAR

sharthok jonomo amaar,
jonmechhi ei deshe,
shokal theke GAS-er choTe
morchhi je tai keshe,
choturdike bhosh-bhoshiye
uRchhe joto dhNowa,
phushphush-ete lagchhe kebol
kalo haater chhNowa.

sharthok jonomo amaar,
jonmechhi ei rajye,
kaaner kachhe tai to shuni
shomosto din bajchhe,
amar daabi mante hobe,"
tarporetei bhashon,
"ram rajyo baniye debe
bam-deb-er ei shashon."

sharthok jonomo amaar,
jonmechhi ei paRay,
du-char phNoTa brishTi holei
jolTa kemon dNaRay!
taite abaar bhashchhe POTTY,
gondhe shorir guloy,
gaRi ghoRa thomke giye
kaaj-kommo chuloy!

sharthok jonomo amaar,
jonmechhi ei bhobe,
jonmo theke bhabchhi kebol,
manush hobo kobe?
abar bhabi, manush hote
chaiboTa kon mukhe?
bheRar paale nam likhiye
dibyi achhi shukhe!

DURGAMI BUS-JATRIR BIROMBONA

amaar baron shunli na tui,
jol kheli ek gamla,
pabei to tor jorse hishi
ne, tobe Thel shamla!

BUS DHORLUM ATATTOR-ER ROUTE-E

(Statutory warning: kichhu kichhu premer kobita aachhe jeguli premik-premika-ke shonale prem paliye jete badhyo. eTi moTamuTi shei dhoroner. oti shontorpone eTir prayog korte hobe, noile juddho anibarjo. hridoy-ghoTito kono byaram thakle poroborti lekhay chole jaowa banchhonio.)


BUS DHORLUM ATATTOR-ER ROUTE-E

mone poRe shei VICTORIA-r ghaashe;
aami boshe tomar dokhin paashe;
gunguniye mishTi golpo kore,
oto:por premer shutro dhore
jei na tomaay gelum khanik chhNute,
tumi bolle, "dNaRao, aashi moote."
omni, shutro gelo chhNiRe, prem gelo TooTe,
paa baRalum aTattorer ROUTE-e.

abar shedin bikel belaay,
phire eshe shei VICTORIA-y,
joler dhare, BENCH-e boshe,
bhalobashar hisheb koshe
jei na tomaay japTe dhori, aabege,
tumi bolle, "dNaRao, aashi hege!"
omni aabeg gelo bhenge, prem gelo TooTe,
paa baRalum aTattorer ROUTE-e.

tobu abaar shondhe belaay elum chole;
matha pete tomar kole,
prem pujarir gaanTa geye
mhalobashay mogno hoye
jei na tomar thutni dilum neRe,
tumi ‘phuRuk’ kore olpo kichu bayu dile chheRe!
omni, bhalobasha gelo ghuche, prem gelo TooTe
obosheshe BUS dhorlum aTattorer ROUTE-e.

MRIDUL THAKE TIN TOLATE

Keu jodi kokhono amake
Bhul kore Mridul bole daake,
Aami taate hashi na
Baa lojjay khuk khuk kashi na,
Borong gombheer golate,
Boli, "Mridul? She-thaake tin tolate."

Taa shotteo keu jodi bole
"Tumi ki Aparesh tahole?"
Tobe aami byajaar mukhe
Ek drishte cheye thaki shommukhe;
Emon bhaab dekhai
Jeno dNaDiye aachhi ekai.

Tobu jodi pher shuni,
"Tahole ki tumiy shei Chuni?"
Aami heshe uthi!
Boli, "Chuni, Aparesh, o naam duti,
Dada, shunte to besh bhalo,
Kintu amar cheharay ki thik manalo?"

Tateo jodi pher proshno aashe,
"Shei e-chokh o-chokher pashe,
Shei mukh, shei naak,
Shei phur-phure taak,
Shei lick-pick-e paa,
Tumi sure tumi Mridul naa?"
Ebar aami boli jor golaay,
"Aare, Mridul to thake tin tolaay!"

Tobu prosho aashe, abaar,
"Tumi tobe ke, baap amaar?"
Omni amaar raag othe (mone mone),
Mishti heshe, omlan bodone,
Mere diy gyash,
"Aami Ogden Nash!"

DHNOWA DEBE, DHNOWA

Priya, oi biDi khana tene,
Daona amaay ek mutho dhNowa ene.

She-dhNowar boNtka gondhe,
Bhore jaabe shondhe,
Mone hobe jeno boshe aachhi gram-e,
Baa, shatash nombor tram-e.

Jokhon tomar kachhe aaro dhNowa pabo,
Tokhon Writers'-e jabo;
Kono amla-ke dhore
She-dhNowa debo taar pocket-e bhore,
She-tokhon onyo dhNowar shonge,
Takeo chhoDiye debe shomosto Bonge.
Dur-e, bohu dur-e,
She-dhNowa bheshe beDabe ghur-e ghur-e;
Shamanyo oitukuni dhNowa,
Tobu taate thakbe tomar amar chhNowa.

Tai boli, priya, daona ektu dhNowa ene,
Oi biDi khani tene.

BAYISHE SRABON ONUSHTHAN

Shedin noroker rasta diye haNtchhi, hothat ekta shoytan eshe jiggesh korlo, "Acchha, Dadu, bolun to, ‘Solar Cooker’er Bangla ki?" Aami onek chinta tinta kore bollum, "Surjo Unoon." Shoytanta bollo, "Na, na, Dadu, kichhui to dekhi janen na, Solar Cooker-er Bangla hochhe Robi Thakur."

Jai hok, Robi Thakurer mrityu din-e Mohun Bagan mathe monorom jolsha holo taate ek ek kore shokole gaan gailen. Prothomei gailen Baichung Bhutia : –

Goal-e robe ki na robe amar shot, shey amar jana nai,
Khone khone aashi golo paane, okarone poDe jai.
Chole jaay din, jotokhon aachhi, jete jete jodi aashi kachha kachhi.
Tomar mukher chokito shukher hashi dekhite chai,
Tai okarone poDe jai……
Refereer baNshi jaay bajiya, khelatir oboshane,
Khoniker off-side dhoriya, aar kichhu nahi jaane.
Phuraibe din, aalo hobe kheen, khela hobe shara, phuribe sijin, (season)
Jotokhon thaki bhore dibe naki e khelar-i bhelatai,
Tai okarone poDe jai……

Erpor elen Deepak Mondol, gailen : –

Amaar payer theke ball ke nilo bhulaye,
Sheje goal-ei maare nirob moner kulaye.
Megher din-e Srabon mashe, juthi bon-er dirghoshashe,
Amar praane she dyay pathor chhaya bulaye.
Jokhon Shorot kaMpe shiuli phul-er horoshe,
Noyon bhore shei gopon goal-er poroshe,
Gobhir raate ki shoor lagaay, adho-ghum-e, adho jagaay,
Amar du:shopone dyay je ki goal dulaye.

Tarpor elen Dipendu Biswas, gailen Biswajit Babur dike takiye : –

Ei kothati mone rekho, tomader ei hashi khelaay,
Ami je goal diyechhilum jeerno pata jhorar belaay,
Shukno ghaashe, shunyo goal-e, apon ball-e,
Onadore, obohelaay.
Ami je goal diyechhilum jeerno pata jhorar belaay,
Team-er o coach, mone rekho, ami khelechhilum shebar,
Du-goal holo jebar.
Ami je goal diyechhilum jeerno pata jhorar belaay.

Tarpor elen ek otithi, Imbecilic Football Association-er Sri Gol Gobindo Babu, gailen Tutuda Babur mukhopaane cheye : –

Ogo, Bangal, amaare Bangal korechho, aaro ki tomar chai?
Ogo, bhikhari aami bhikhari, shunechho ki kator gaan gai?
Protidin praate nobo nobo dhon-e tushibo tomare shaadh chhilo mone,
Bhikhari, aami bhikhari.
Haay, aaro jodi chaao, mor-e kichhu dao, phire aami dibo taai.

Bole taai dite dite beriye gelen IFA office obhimukhe.
Totokkhone eshe gechhen Debashish Babu, bideshi khelowar khuNjte khuNjte :–

Aami chini go chini tomaare, ogo bideshi half,
Tumi thaako Nigeriay, ogo bideshi half,
Tomaay dekhechhi moyla bin-e, tomaay dekhechhi TV-r screen-e,
Tomaay dekhechhi shopne chin-e, ogo bideshi half,
Aami mathete patiya kaan, shunechhi, shunechhi tomaar-i gaan,
Aami tomaate shoNpechhi praan, ogo bideshi half,
Bhubon bhromiya sheshe, aami eshechhi Lagos deshe,
Aami otithi tomaar-i dwaar-e, ogo bideshi half.

Emon shomoy elen Bablu Babu, gailen : –

Naa, naa go naa, koro na bhabona,
Jodi baa hishi paay, tobuo jabona,
Jokhoni chole jai, ashibo bole jai,
Club taMbu-r pothe, kori anagona.
Dola-te dole mon, milone, birohe,
Bar-e bar-ei jaani, aami to hero, hey!
Khoniko aDaale, hothati dNaDale,
Mori bhoye bhoye, pabo ki pabo naa.

Bole chole gelen. Bablu Babu jachhen, shei dike takiye tokhon Unknown Mittir Babu gailen : –

Jaak, jaa gechhe ta jaak!
Jaak, jaa gechhe ta jaak!

Eituku shobe geyechhen, hotath Boloban Choudhury Babu cheNchiye uthlen, "Ei eta to Robindro Shongeet noy". Unknown Mittir Babu bollen, "Albot Robindro Shongeet, aamar Santiniketan-e baDi aachhe, Suman Ganguly-r baDir thik pashei, aar tumi amake shekhabe konta Robindro Shongeet aar konta Robindro Shongeet noy?" Prochondo jhogDa lege gelo, choturdike maar maar kaat kaat shobdo, amaar ghumtao bhenge gelo.

ROG-ER LINE

Hothat shedin istishane kheloom mayer bhog,
Taite kemon pakDe nilo aajgubi shob rog.
DhoDash kore dhorlo matha, mochoD dilo pet,
Tontoniye uthlo haNtu, mundu holo heNt.

Thanda hobar jonyo tokhon kheloom aakher rosh,
KuNuchut kore heNchki othe, eker por ek dosh;
HeNchki tule shukno golay jei na kheloom daab,
Omni hotath gob-goba-gob gojiye gelo aab.

Aab-er byathay kator hoye kheloom tokhon aam,
Jhonka mere jwor elo shei, shukiye gelo gham;
Jworer ghore aanmone jei kheloom khanik bel,
Omni kemon dhNai-dhopa-dhop bajlo buk-e shel.

Shel-er ghaye humDi kheye jei na kheloom dim,
Achomka gaay uthlo kaNta, dhorlo naake jhim;
Taite aami ek paa tule jei na kheloom bhaat,
Naacher dhonge ulto dike beNklo amar haat.

Haat-er byathay shiure uthe kheloom tokhon cha,
Omni dekhi payer paatay beriye gelo gha;
Gha-er jwalay chhutte giye kheloom khanik daal,
Tatei hothat chulgulo shob kuNkDe holo laal.

Lal chulete kolop mekhe jei na kheloom noon,
Omni kemon kanna pelo, mukhti holo choon,
Byajar mukhe dhumki kore holoom tokhon dhish;
Bichitro shob rog-er thyalay taito kheloom bish.

DHUR BABA

Dhur Baba chhilen oti dhur. Tobe dhur to, tai chaliye niten onayashe. Ek shomoy Kolkatay tini-i chhilen ek nombor Baba. Manush rege gelei bolto "Dhur Baba!" Bole, keno janina, bejaay tripti peto. Kolkatar anache kanache tokhon thick thick korchhe lok, prayoshoi tader modhye keu na keu cheNchiye uthchhe "Dhur Baba", ki shukher din-i na chhilo.

Dhur Babar bhoktoder bola hoto Buddhu, tara matha kamiye leker dhare ghur ghur korto, aar leker ojosro premik-premika der ohoroho birokto korto. Jei na oti birokto hoye keu bolto "Dhur Baba" omni tara dhong dhong kore ghonta bajiye tuk tuk kore nokuD dana kheto. Buddhu-der upodrobe tokhonkar din-e koto prem-er je okal mrityu ghotechhe, tar iyotta nei, kintu taate ki, Dhur Babar prochar to hoyechhe.

Aagei bolechhi, Dhur Baba chhilen oti dhur. Ek bar ek Buddhu jiggesh korlo, "Baba, duye duye ki hoy?" Baba bollen, "Char." Ki boka dekhun! Sobai jaane, duye duye doodh hoy, kintu Baba chhilen oirokom-i. Tobe dhur hole ki hobe, dhur to! Arekbar, ek Buddhu jiggesh korlo, "Baba, Kolkata-ke eto nongra ke korlo?" Baba bollen, "Nikuchi koreche Kolkatar nongra!" Omni Buddhu-der driDho dharona holo, Nikuchi bodhoy kono Japani shoytan, kono kaaj nei, kebol boshe boshe Kolkata-ke nongra korechhe. Oi je bollum, dhur to!

Oboshyo Dhur Baba-r kojon Japani bhokto-o chhilo, tader ekjoner naam Ashahoto Dishehara, tar bou Takiyeo Takayni. Tara abar chhilo Babar prochondo bhokto – theke thekei tara Babar udyeshye bole uthto (Japani-te) "Okire, kiboka! Khepanaki!" Baba-o utphullo hoye jobab diten (Japani-tei) "Orebyata mashohara, debonaki katukutu?", kimba, "Khabinaki nakani chobani?" othoba "Obiroto gNutobo."

Baba-r Japani chorchar phole tokhonkar din-e Kolkatar onekei Japani shikhte shuru korlen. Thakur Sri Ramkrishna Deb shoyong Japani shikhe ekdin bole uthlen, "Takama, teema, titaaka", orthat, matitei taka. Strir naam rakhlen Japani-te – Sarodama. Majhe majhei du chokh bondho kore bole uthten, (Japani-tei) "Dekhadema, dekhadema." Odike Thakur Sri Robindronath Santiniketan-e Bishwa-Bharati-r syllabus-e ekti Japani subject juDe dilen – nyakapona.

Tobe ekhon dinkal palte gechhe, dhire dhire Dhur Baba-r probhab-o kome gechhe, bhashao onek rukkho hoyechhe, aajkaal Dhur Baba-r shyalok eshe Kolkata joy kore niyechhe, tai choturdike mukhe mukhe shuni "Dhur Shala!" Odike Japanirao shob kothay hariye gechhe, Chin-era eshe juDe boshechhe, choturdike tai eto tiring biring rongbaji.

HITOPODESHAM

Loker kothay kaan diyo na, lokra kebol bhul boke,
Loker kothay cholle pore cholbe tumi jhul chhoke.

Lok-e kemon bolbe tomay, khidey pete aag jwole,
Tai bole ki khidey lok-e khobor pathay domkol-e?

Abar kemon bolbe tara, khatle pore phol paabe,
Taar mane ki mute mojur khatar pore aam khabe?

Keuba abar bolbe tomay, matri bhashai thik bhasha;
Ei lokeder shontanetei Ingriji shob school thasha.

Keu ba bole, koshto koro, Keshto paabe ekkhuni,
Bolbe na keu, hotath tumi Keshto niye korbe ki?

Abar dhoro, bolbe lok-e, "Bharat amar mohan desh;"
Eder kintu protyeker-i mem bou ba foreign dress!

Emni bhabei loke kebol gul mare aar baat jhaaDe,
Tomar moto srota pelei abol tabol gas chhaDe,

Tai to boli, loker kotha shonar aage khobor nao,
Aamio abar loker motoi, amar kothao eDiye jao.

KISHER THEKE KI

Jotokkhon shaash
Totokkhon aash,

Tarpor laash,
Tatei baaNsh!

POCHOOR KHELA

Tokhon Akash Bani-te roj roj khelar dhara biboroni hoto, peculiar shob nyaka nyaka lok eshe dhara biboroni diten, nana rokomer gola, nana rokomer dharabhashyo, kintu protyeker ektai mil - keu kokhono ro-phola proyog korten na, shei niye podyo:


POCHOOR KHELA

Maidan-e football khele koto club,
Player-er nei kono ekhane obhab,
Ram, Shyam, Jamshed, koto khelowar,
Aar aachhe Moidul, Mani, Chibujar;

Shob naam paabe hetha, ektai ain,
Football-e nei kono ro-pholar line.
Baap-maaye naam dilo Srinibas Das,
Jei khele football, hoy Sinibas.

Club-e club-e tai dekhi Tidib, Pobir,
Posun, Poloy aar Kishanu-r bhir.
Aaro aachhe Posanto, Midul, Pobal,
Aar aachhe Subboto, aajibon kaal.

Shobar upor-e sthaan coach PK-dar,
Podip Banajji naam, pochoor pochar.
IFA-r baburao ei rule maane,
Shekhaneo Podyot dori dhore taane.

Tai boli, tumi jodi football khelo
Ekkhuni 'praan'-ta-ke 'paan' kore phelo.

BOU HOLO BOSS

Bhai sodyo bibahito mohashoy,

Apnar shodyo bibaho hoyechhe, tai koyekti kotha bolchhi, mathay rakhben:-

1. Hindu shomajer manush aapni, kajei divorce shohoje hobe na, she-rehai nei, otoyeb ekhono onek, onek bochhor dhore bou aapnar pashe pashei thakbe.

2. Ekhon aapnar boyosh kom, kolijay shokti byapok, apatoto bou-ke ghantiye aapni hoyto paar peye jete paren. Pashe aapnar bohu bondhu bandhob atmiyo shojon, hoyto prochur shomorthon-o paben. Kintu joto boyesh barbe, dekhben ek ek kore shomorthok brindo kothay jeno hariye gechhe, tokhon kintu aapnar bou aapnake ekla peye juba boyosher mastanir badla nebe, aapni kichhui korte parben na. Mone rakhben, purush der shokti beshi, kintu mohilader stamina beshi.

3. 2 nombor tothyoti mathay rekhe duti Ingriji shobdo shikhe nin, "You win". Jokhon-i dekhben bou-er shonge bitorke joriye porechhen, joto taratari shombhob ei duti shobdo proyog korben. Tobei shangsharik shukh upobhog korte parben.

4. Bou ja ja baron korbe, shonge shonge mene neben. (Tarpor ja khushi korben, kintu khobordar, bou-rani jeno ter na paay.) Buk phuliye hero Hrittik Roshan-ke hote din, aapni aapnar moto thakun.

5. Shongshare shukh pete gele nirbikar bhabe mithye kotha bolar 'art' ti ropto korte hobe. Bhebe dekhben, Judhisthir ki shongshare shukhi chhilen?

6. Mohakobi Ogden Nash-er ei upodesh-ti roj shokale tinbar aoraben:

"When you're wrong, admit it;
When you're right, forget it."

7. Jodi kono din bari phire dekhen, bou-er mukh bhaar, khobordar, bhuleo jiggesh korben na, "Ogo, ki hoyechhe?" Taholei kintu jhor boibe. Otoyeb, chup chap jama kapor chhere shangsharik kaje lege porben.

8. Bou-ke khushi korbar jonyo upor-wala duti jinisher srishti korechhen, ekti shosta, ekti kinchit dami. Prothomti holo phuchka, jhor-er ingit pelei bou-ke phuchka khaowate niye jaben. Jhor jodi Kal-Boishakhir rup dharon kore, tahole phuchkay hobe na, tokhon niye jaben Chinese khaowate.

9. "Aamar bou aamake chinte parlo na" bole jara dukkho kore, tara pagol. Aapnar kokhono erokom mone holei aapni muchki heshe bhabben, "Bhaggish pare na". Amader bou-ra jodi shothik bhabe amader chinto, tobe kobei na chhaal chamra gutiye niye Lumpen United-er flag baniye monument-e tangiye dito.

10. Shob theke important kotha - Football mather khela, mathei thaka bhalo, barite anben na. Off-side rule-ta referee-linesman-rao bojhe na, otoyeb bou-ke bojhanor kono proyojon nei.

Aaj ei porjontoi, kaal abaar dekha hobe, ei sthane, ei shomoye.

Oti Prem-e Tanti Noshto - The Zidane Affair

Zinedine Zidane keno orokom korlo tai niye apatoto Norok gulzar! Ashol khobor eimatro pelum. Zidane aar Materazzi-r boddo prem, tai niye eto gondogol. On site microphone (jaar speaker-ta ekmatro Noroker ek kone chhilo) theke shona gechhe ashole ki hoyechhilo. Ei kothopokothon theke ashol byaparta sposhto bojha jachhe:

(Oder kotha hoyechhilo Franco-Roman bhashay, www dot langtolangto dot com theke bhashantor kora hoyechhe)

MM: Bhai Zidou, ore, tor taak ta je gham-e chok chok korchhe!
ZZ: Tai naki re Matou? Ish! Shesh khelay e ki birombona!
MM: Hyan! Moteo bhalo dekhachhe na, aay muchhe di!

(MM ZZ-ke joriye dhorlo, amra shobai TV-te dekhlum, tor por dujon dujoner theke shor-e gelo.)

MM: Aare, aare, Zidu, shore geli keno, mochhai to holo na.
ZZ. Ekhono chok chok korchhe? Ki hobe?
MM: Aay, shona, kachhe aay, haat diye muchhe di.
ZZ: Dhush, Matu! Tor haat-tao to dekhi gham-e job job korchhe!
MM: Tai to! Tahole tui aay, tor taak-ta amar jersey-te muchhe ne!
ZZ: Aare, tor jersey to bhije toitumbur.
MM: Na, na, buk-er kachhta shukno aachhe, buk-e amar eto lom, shob gham lom-e shushe niyechhe, jersey-ta shukno aachhe.
ZZ: Bolchhish? Thik aachhe.

(ZZ tokhon taak-ta MM-er buk-e ghoshe nilo, tuk kore. Kintu taak-er majhe majhe shokto shokto kota chul aalpin-er moto MM-er komol lomosh buk-e phute gelo, MM jontronay katrate katrate matite lutiye porlo. Poroborti kothopokothon Referee ebong Linesman-er modhye:)

Ref: Ki byapar, Materazzi-ta orokom bolir panthar moto katrachhe keno, kichhu dekhechhen?
LM: Aare chhi, chhi, Zidane-ta ki oshobhyo, maather majhkhane Materazzi-r buk-e matha ghosh-e dilo! Bechara Materazzi bodhoy lojjay kator hoye porechhe.
Ref: Tai naki? Shala! Adult cinema baniye debe khelata-ke! Chhi chhi chhi, ki oshobhyo! Eto loker shamne ei shob ki bichchhiri kando! Dressing Room-e giye to joto khushi ador korte parto!

(Red card)